Thursday 15 August 2019

10 Signs You Know You're A Mum

When you have children, you don’t get hit by the realisation that you have children until you’re doing something extremely “mum-like” and it dawns on you. You’re a mother. Someone in the cosmos decided that you - you who haven’t cleaned out their car or wiped the skirting boards in a while - would be an excellent fit for motherhood. Some days, this realisation makes you proud. Other days? Other days you’re waiting for someone to cook dinner - and you realise you’re the one who’s got to do that! 

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There is nothing that compares to being a mother. Even the days where you’re on a road trip to get a new car from and the baby has pooped through EVERYTHING and onto the car seat. Even on the days your child washes said new car with a scouring pad. Nothing compares to the love you feel. Despite this, there are still signs that slap you in the face to remind you of your new title of Mum. Let’s take a look:

You know you’re a mother when you’re blow-drying your bedsheets in the middle of the night after the baby peed on them - and you don’t have the energy to change them.

You know you’re a mother when you realise it’s easier to lie about the ice cream man song than find the cash for ice creams.

You know you’re a mother when you offer to share your drink - and you get given a drink with crumbs back.

You know you’re a mother when the postman knocks on the door, and you forgot you were topless and airing out your cracked nipples from feeding.

You know you’re a mother when a trip to the car dealership is a holiday because your partner has the kids.

You know you’re a mother when you instinctively know when it’s bedtime - and you haven’t checked the clock OR your last nerve.

You know you’re a mother when you take your teenager to buy their first car from the dealership, and you have to let them drive a car. A huge machine. Alone.

You know you’re a mother when you have a queue of Baby Shark on your Alexa, timed every five minutes.

You know you’re a mother when you are made of coffee, yawns and a ton of cuddles.

You know you’re a mother when feeding the ducks just to see the smile your child gives you is the highlight of your day.

The thing is, when you’re a mother, a lot of things about your day that used to be normal are suddenly distracted and skewed. Those everyday things you would do that you never gave a second thought to are suddenly military operations with one target: keep the brood together. If you’re about to embark into parenthood, it’s time to buckle up in that new car of yours: it’s going to be one ride you’ll never forget.