Wednesday 10 August 2016
Over lunch at a play date last week myself and my friends were discussing different parenting styles and how as mums we all have different ideas of what is acceptable and what is not but at times we feel judged for the decisions we make.
Life as a mum is hard enough without being judged by others and most annoyingly those without children that feel the need to scrutinise what we do and how we do it, offering advice on how much better it would be if you just........well actually how much better it would be if you just........is what you want to say back!!!!
I remember feeling a failure for not sticking to breastfeeding my little one longer than three months, because of the belief breast is best... being told I need to keep trying this way, that way, any way possible as it was sooo important, until I became a robotic feeding machine that no matter what I tried it seemed could not satisfy my child, the more anxious I got the more he seemed to struggle to feed, and so it continued until the point where my partner said enough is enough.. I'm kinda guessing I wasn't the happy, go lucky, well balanced person he met at that point. Consequently I didn't give a damn when number two came along and after three weeks of the worst pain ever trying to feed I bought out the bottles and stuck two fingers up to anyone who raised their judgmental perfect mummy eyebrows. I was happy, baby happy, big brother happy and other half breathed the biggest sigh of relief as did not to have to live with the emotional, irrational wreck of a person like first time around.
If how you parent works for you and most importantly makes you and yours happy then who cares what the rest of the world thinks, but i feel it is so sad that as mums we know the pressures, pains, and stress involved in bringing a child into this world especially the first time around yet some feel it is acceptable to add to that and make another mum feel inadequate and a failure.
I for one will do what I think is best for my family and luckily have like minded friends that understand the need to do what works and get through the parenting trials we face especially as they get older and develop minds of their own!!! It helps we all agree that wine most definitely helps!!!