Tuesday 31 January 2017

How to survive the crap days

Parenting is not easy, there is so much pressure to be the perfect parent, appear to have your shit together, be organised, and be happy all the time for the miracle you hold in your arms, and yes every day i am grateful for my two amazing little darlings, however some days i feel like shit, i feel crap, i do not want to be a parent, hell i don't always want to be an adult, just let me pull the covers over my head and hide from the world.

Life is hard and parenting is bloody hard, how long can you spend 24/7 putting other peoples needs before your own before you hit a wall? So how do you cope?

Firstly admit it is ok to not be perfect, stop putting so much pressure on yourself, that time you lose your shit and scream at the kids does not make you a bad parent, it makes you human. There is no such thing as a supermum, if she says she is she is lying!!!

Take that time under the covers, for a while, some time out is needed, recharge, regroup, get your head together, let dad be in charge...gasp ..yes ..Don't panic it is only one day, back to boss tomorrow.

Switch off when you can, a night watching crappy tv is good, it helps to empty the mind of the million jobs that will never really get done as the list just gets added to so leave it for one night.

Ask for help....now this is the hardest of them all, if like me you can't stand admitting you need help, it is hard to say i am not coping please help.

Get out with your friends, arrange a lunch date, probably the last thing you feel like doing is going out but it will help and your sure to find some sympathy if nothing else.

Learn to say NO....parenting is hard enough without extra pressure, if someone asks for something and you really do not have the time..say NO. At times you need to keep what little energy you have just to get through the day, so do not feel bad, a true friend will understand

My favourite is sticking the music on, a good bit of 80's dance and go for it, dance like no one is watching...sorry postman, not a good sight i know!! Music is such a release and mood changer, just stay away from the love songs!!

There is nothing wrong in seeking help, sometimes not matter what we do, that feeling of sadness, failure and anxiety does not leave us, go to your GP, speak to them, get help, the changes we go through becoming a parent are not always easy especially if we have some traumatic or stressful experience at the same time, sadly we do not speak about this enough with the pressure of trying to be the perfectly happy, grateful parent, and we do not ask for help when we really do need it. Stop feeling like you are wrong to feel like this, it is beyond your control, but you can change it.

WE could all help each other more, stop judging, stop assuming you know what is happening in someone else's life, take a step back, empathise, offer a helping hand. Maybe if we all took a minute to ask "are you ok"......we know the answer would be ..FINE, as we do....but maybe one day, we may actually say "you know what no i am not".

A Mum Track Mind