Ok, really how many times a day do you say f#*k it!! Or sit and wonder what if.........
Probably quite a few if your anything like me!! Life just isn't simple, sometimes you do feel like your own your own, fighting a battle nobody else cares about or wants to help with so f#*k it too, why care? Why bother.
Things just are not as you imagined but what if.... you did that one thing different?
Often lately i have found myself being more aware of the f#*k it moments, is it age? Is it having kids? Who knows but it is happening more!!
Is it worth the time and stress to worry?
My f#*k it moments-
1- Trying to introduce healthy eating for the adults!, kids do really well but we parents need to stop and learn from them...not easy when you live with a feeder who has zero willpower. Just once lead by example. F#*k it pass the kebab
2- Why keep cleaning the play room, got to be the most pointless task ever, 5 mins and trashed, back to square one, yet keep doing it! F#*k it - Santa just will not come next year
3 - Trying to be wonder woman, really i mean all the effort to make every single person happen when 50% of the time they don't even notice!!! F#*k it pass the wine
4 - Cooking - just cooking, in any form, as according to kids whatever i produce is disgusting, honestly my cooking isn't that bad either!! F#*k it have another chicken nugget
5 - Organising days out/ holidays, spend hours researching and finding deals (as requested)...only for someone to book something completely different they have been looking at all along, royally pissed off moments F#*k it - just book anything
6 - Trying to take a bath...alone...no not gonna happen....not now....not ever.......F#*k it pass the wine - may as well get some moment of pleasure from it!
7 - Romance - hilarious word, average time spent child free together....12 hrs a week, average time spent being ignored for a phone 10 hrs a week, the other two hrs are usually spent on the toilet!!! again F#*k t pass the wine
F#*k it pass the wine
I could go on but at risk of getting ranty i will stop. So that's my f#*k it list
So what if......not necessarily a wish list just pondering how things may of been or could be.........
1- What if....i never gave up that well paid job...I could be more financially independent, i could afford better holidays, i could buy more shoes!!! But..i wouldn't see the kids, those 12 hrs child free time reduced to zero.
2 - What if.... the kids had come along in my twenties...for a start be a different dad! I would be almost, almost tasting freedom!
3 - What if....I had up sized house when financially able to do so...more space, a garden, bigger rooms for kids, a kitchen!!! But no holidays, no days out, no new shoes!! Surely i would be thin though as couldn't afford to eat!!
4 - What if.... i had actually married Donnie Wahlberg......you don't want know the rest ...
5 - What if....i had a superpower, what would it be, would i be good or turn evil hmm.....
6 - What if...amazingly, magically, miraculously ...everyone else in the house attempted to keep it clean....
7 - What if...i spoke the same language as the kids, so they actually understood, eat your dinner, pick up your clothes, bedtime, don't stab your brother in the eye with a fork, don't threaten to pee on your sisters head while she takes a bath...what if!!!
What would your superpower be?
Ok so i will stop as you can see its getting really unrealistic!!
So my wandering thoughts....what are yours?